How do you make a decision?
When faced with a serious choice that feels impossible to choose, leaving you in a state of anxiety and in limbo, what do you do?
We use our heads. In fact there are elaborate and complicated ways to rationally work through a dilemma or an inner conflict to find a solution.
However, after the decision is finally made, we are left feeling exhausted, burnt out and relieved. And then we do it all again when the next big choice appears in our life. This cycle is not ideal. In fact, for me personally, it wore me out.
We’re taught this is the only way. To think about it. To use our heads.
I’ve spent my lifetime, stuck in my monkey mind. I spent many, many, many hours, analysing, planning and ruminating over the next step, the way forward.
But what I found was I just had a huge headache and a very clear pattern of getting stuck in a thankless pattern of overthinking. It was agonising at times.
So I made a commitment to find out the best way to make a decision – based on the maximum amount of wisdom I could find.
This quest has taken me far and wide and finally, beyond head-based research.
I had to hit a wall where I realised that my head wasn’t going to provide me with anything further, that to pass this point, I had to venture into the unknown world.
The thing is, when we work within the confines of our head, we work within the confines of our subconscious programming. We now know that 95% of our thoughts are unconscious programs. They’re the same thoughts as the day before. We are on auto pilot. How can we possibly work within this closed system to find new knowledge, information, breakthroughs and insights?
The answer is we can’t. And this is where the heart comes into play.
Our hearts are the most beautiful and magical thing that you’ll ever explore within our inner technology. The electromagnetic field around our heart is up to 5000 times stronger than the one around our brain. This resource within us is completely under utilised in our current times.
And so I found myself on this journey to moving down into the heart space. I didn’t even know what it meant at the time. But I knew that there’s something hidden in this sacred space that was going to open up a whole new world, a widening of my perception.
For those of you who relate to this and who spent their lifetimes in their head, you will be familiar with the idea that it’s easier to think logically when you push your emotions aside.
We learned that our emotions were in the way and just cause us more trouble. Emotions bring up pain. Pain that we had pushed down on purpose a long time ago when we were kids, because it hurt too much to feel. We closed our heart. Our heart became nicely shielded behind a big wall.
When we were kids we learned that if we continued using the language of our heart – which is feeling, we would feel increasing levels of pain. So we moved into our head. We stopped using this sacred way of being. Many of us walk around with a big disconnect between our body (where our heart lives), and our head.
I used to be based in my head. I avoided feeling because it was painful. Ironically, being based in your head, is actually the most painful way to live.
It’s painful because our head isn’t a technology created to be a guidance system or compass to walk this life. It is only based on programs that have been installed over a lifetime. How can you gain your insights, knowledge and wisdom from a program?
“Listen to your heart”…. This is such a cliché line. We hear this in the love songs and cheesy hallmark movies. But the wisdom within this saying has absolutely been lost to many people.
Why do we need to move into the heart?
The heart is a technology that is connected to information that you’ll never be able to receive when it is closed shut. This information connects you to your higher self which is outside of time and space. The head is based within time and space. The heart, on the other hand, is eternal.
When we begin to listen to our heart, when we allow ourselves to finally crack it open (which takes great courage), we begin to receive messages that we may never have heard before. These messages remind us of our deepest and most aligned values. Our heart tells us which direction to go.
When we feel expansive and open and peaceful, our heart is saying YES. And when we listen and take action accordingly, we find ourselves in alignment, congruent with a path that will bring fulfilment, balance and peace. And when we begin to attune to our heart, it tells us when we are contracted, closed and afraid. The head cannot do any of these things. The head can only think according to its installed programs.
How do we move into our hearts and live with our internal guidance system fully online?
At the end of this message I will leave you with a little exercise that you can do immediately. I could give you a whole lot of head based thoughts, rationalised and rehearsed to explain how to move to your heart, but ultimately this is not something that you learn. This is something you release. It’s a surrender process. It requires you to actually let go of being afraid of feeling.
To feel is to heal.
We’re taught from a very young age that there certain feelings we shouldn’t feel. That it’s bad for us feel anger, sadness, fear, frustration and shame. But did you know it’s not until you feel these feelings that they actually can be released? They’re stuck in there waiting to be felt. We release repressed emotions when we feel them. I mean fully feel them whilst staying conscious, loving and present with ourselves, without blocking, distracting or judging ourselves.
Watch kids when they express an emotion.
If you just let them fully feel it whilst holding loving space for them, they quickly recover and move on, having completely released and forgotten about it moments later. But if you block them from completing their expression, it becomes lodged within the body’s energy system, and it is carried around into adulthood. A life of overthinking means you carry a heavy load and expend a lot of energy keeping it under control.
It’s easy for me to say this to you but this is something you need to do to actually know that it is true. So here is a little exercise:
HOW TO MAKE A HEART-BASED CHOICE
Step 1. Close your eyes. Place your hands on your heart and take some deep belly breaths. Those deep belly breath take you out of the head. When we shallow breathe, we shallow think. We are stuck in survival mode. Move to a place of calm.
Step 2. Now bring your focus and awareness to your heart. You’ve spent a lifetime in your head, perhaps it’s time to take a moment to feel into your heart within that body of yours.
Step 3. Recall a time when you felt stressed, challenged, burdened, or just had too many problems. Notice your body; how it becomes contracted and your shoulders move forward to protect the heart space. You feel heavy, small and afraid. This is a no. This is your heart saying no.
Now, recall the last time that you were completely relaxed and at peace. Perhaps this was on a holiday away from your regular routine or workload. Perhaps it was somewhere beautiful that was inspirational and just felt good. Now notice your body. Notice how it relaxes with this memory. Notice how your shoulders open, how you let go, how your heart feels exposed and expansive. You feel at peace. This is a yes. This is a yes to any question you might have.
Practice this so that you become familiar with a YES feeling and a NO feeling. You are attuning to the technology of your heart. Rather than sitting down and spending an hour rationalising and planning and analysing a problem using the logic of the limited mind (that is just filled with the same thoughts from yesterday), use your heart and see what happens.
Maybe start small with choices that aren’t as critical in your life, the little decisions. Notice how when you follow through with the action that aligns with a heart-based yes or no, that you are taken into flow. Your life feels easier and more peaceful. Now you can experience first-hand, the power of your internal guidance system coming online.
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