THE NEED TO BE IN CONTROL – OUR WESTERN PROGRAMMING
Steps to move out of the masculine control system…
In today’s western world we have been heavily programmed into thinking we can only survive if we are constantly producing, doing or achieving. We chase the proverbial carrot and are never satiated. This comes part and parcel with those who are high achievers and perfectionists.
We attempt to control every little detail in our external world. Why? Because deep down and lurking in the shadows of our subconscious is a program running that makes us feel we really have no control and that we are literally out of control. This comes from our earliest years as a child when we learned that we had no choice or autonomy from our primary caregivers. We put up with the demands of our parents and the requirement that to prove our value we had to demonstrate some sort of achievement. So, we continue this program into adulthood, replacing our parents with ourselves as the new taskmaster. And so the cycle continues as we relentlessly try and find approval by DO-ing in our lives.
This is unceasing and exhausting. If you relate to this, know that there is a way out. It involves recognising that you are not your monkey mind, nor your physical body. Think about it – neuroscience has now shown that you can completely rewire your brain and change personalities entirely. It is also well known that every single cell in your body is completely changed within an average of seven years.
So, this confirms, we are not our body-mind complex. We are far more. We are pure loving awareness having a human experience. We have not been shown how to operate in this world using our innate human technology – that of the heart field.
Science has now shown that our heart’s have an electromagnetic field around it that is up to 5000 times stronger than that of the brain’s electromagnetic field. This means we can access untapped resources when we spend time in our hearts. How? By feeling appreciation, gratitude, love and compassion we access the heart field that connects us directly to Source energy where we can then receive guidance, wisdom, intuition and intelligence WITHOUT our monkey mind having anything to do with it!
Imagine living a life where you didn’t have your thoughts running loops all day? You would be free to use true will power. You would become sovereign from your body-mind complex and experience the nature of the real essence of who you are – pure potentiality.
If you struggle with being in control in your life, consider following these very helpful steps that will gradually take you to a higher way of operating while you are a human…
Stop when you recognise you are about to blame or control something externally, e.g., someone’s actions or behaviours, points of view or way of being and doing etc. Take a deep breath.
Listen for any internal dialogue (your inner voice) such as “Grow up”,“Be an adult”, “You’re weak”, “You’re not good enough”, “You need to do better”, “You are pathetic” etc.
Know that you are projecting your own harshest critic outwards and instead, consciously look within to find where you are also hard on yourself, e.g., “That’s not good enough”, “You could do better”, “That’s pathetic”, “Grow up”, “You’ll be right”, “Suck it up” etc.
Now imagine yourself as just a little child, completely innocent and sensitive. See that this is the person you are judging. Accept that part of your younger self that you have judged as BAD (not good enough, unworthy, not doing enough etc.) and imagine giving your younger self a big hug. Apologise for being so hard on them and expecting them to prove their worth to you. Give them a chance to consciously feel any emotions that come up such as fear, anger, sadness or grief. Identify these feelings and really feel them. You are seeing and hearing your inner child, perhaps for the first time.
The stopping and consciously taking a moment to totally love and accept yourself (as your younger innocent self) is the healing process. This process sheds light on how hard you have been on your innocent self. You will no longer feel so out of control deep down (which is why you try to control your outer world so strictly). A softening will occur over time as you learn to accept all parts of you. This will open you up to letting go and allowing flow (pure potentiality to realise infinite possibilities for your life).
You can finally BE and be okay with this – true peace will befall you in this practice. No need to DO to feel self-worth or worthy of anything. No more seeking approval from outside of yourself and instead, realising you have the innate technology to access your true nature via your heart in any moment. Flow will begin to envelope your life experience and you will feel massive relief from those old control systems.
Go forth and let it happen in your life. Allow the magic to begin by letting go and allowing a far greater power of intelligence, wisdom, intuition and guidance take the driver seat. This is your real Self.